But instead I'll sit and try to mentally erase every trace of your energy that seems to be burned into my memory
Permanent brain damage that makes your absence hard to manage because unspoken words hurt more than madness shit I just never imagined it'd be you drowning me out with echoes of silence
I just want to escape the emotional violence because I can't seem to shake this funk that I'm in...covered in thin sheens of disbelief that we're really gonna end like we never found bliss...like we didn't envision kisses lost between our lips or creativity that was influenced by the rhythm in our hips
Wishing I could cherish it just a little while longer but you killing this just might make me stronger right?
Maybe after these lonely nights of agitation of me foolishly sitting in anticipation that this last text message might be the explanation I'd been hoping to get instead of this loud noise of quietness
And I can't fully verbalize how traumatizing realizing our conversations were probably spoon filled lies that I ate willingly
Never thinking you'd have the capability to be just another actor who could perform so exquisitely
Realistically I wanted us to be the dream that everyone has dreamt
Synced mentally like we were meant to be together like interlocked hands where my fingers fit perfectly
I just hope you understand that I cared like I still care although I should care less just like you could care less enough to not speak to me when spoken to
But it's not as if I'm new to confusion
I just was under the illusion that you'd be the one exclusion, my bad didn't mean to ass u me
Assuming never really was a smart move to begin with
Just like dealing isn't that easy to deal with
But I'm dealing with it
Still using laughter to seal in the aftermath of loving you when you clearly don't love me too
It's all cool though
I just couldn't stop myself from loving you...
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